MAXIMUM HYGEINE

IT'S OF MAXIMUM IMPORTANCE
Happy Sunday, there, campers! today, we here at unbalanced
would like to take a little bit of time to talk about the importance
of... Personal Hygeine. sort of a Pubic Service Announcement, if
you will. yup. now, were not gonna bore ya to death talking about
stuff like Body Odor. no, you'd be pretty hard-pressed to actually
find a person these days who doesn't know all about the pit-falls
of being Pitted Out. that said, there are a number of areas which
do need to be addressed. now, take the image up top, there. that's
hanging in a pubic public restroom somewhere in Arkansas... it's
in Pigsknuckle, Arkansas, to be exact, if'n y'all needs to know, and
the locals down there don't seem to know how to properly use a
toilet (hey, be fair about it, though, guys... I mean- come on, they
only got toilets like three years ago, ya know it?). hey, a little bit
of Good Hygeine goes a long way... and a little bit of Bad Hygeine
goes a long way towards setting back the Human Race a handful
of generations. you bet. that's right, guys- zero in on that fucker.
you, too, Ladies, hey, there, DON'T GET UP 'TIL YOUR'E DONE.
geez, ya made me go and shout about it, and stuff. okay, so, pay
attention, this is important. now, go grab yourselves a gallon of
mouthwash, a tin of Tooth Powder, a big old stick of deodorant...
... and, a can of foot powder (if ya need it)... and scroll on down...












old girl, here, doesn't know the first thing about Maximum Hygeine.
come to think of it, she doesn't know the first thing about dressing
herself, either. hey~ somebody call the Fashion Ploice, already.












Oral (or, Dental) Hygeine is of maximum importance, too. now,
just how is old boy, here, supposed to eat his Corn-on-the-Cob?












Parents, listen up. Maximum Diaper Hygeine is of
paramount importance, 'cause if'n you don't use it...












... your young offspring will end up like this...

























... or, worse, yet, like this. what a fucking Tard.












speaking of Diapers, they make 'em for the Elderly, too; but,
if things get out of hand and ya need to maybe hose 'em down,
you can take 'em to a Senior Wash Center like this one... yup.












People, try to always use Good Hygeine in the Kitchen Area
as well... not only does it keep the vermin away, it stinks less.












now, let's talk about Tampoons (mt favorite). yup, hey- Tampoons
are maybe the single most important item for Maximum Personal
Hygeine... and one of the greatest inventions in the history of Man...












... just be careful who has 'em and who doesn't... especially
if ya likes to get real drunk, just like old boy, here. oh, and
ya gotta be real careful who ya pick to drink with. oh, yeah.

























Tampoons aren't all that nasty, though... just check out
these swell Tampoon Dolls... they're Fun and Harmless...












... as is this suave Tampoon Flute. oh, that wacky Zamfir...












... did I mention that you can make a really nice pair of
Holiday Slippers out of a batch of Kotex? (or, is it Kotexes?)












ya know, your kids are just gonna love this Tampoon End-Loader...












... and this rectacular Tampoon Gun, too. lucky kids these days.

























Tampoons are more than swell at Halloween...












... or, maybe, they just swell at Halloween...












... either way, what could be better than this Tampoon Ninja?












note to self: never, never, NEVER munch a soiled Tampoon.












ya know, all this talk about Hygeine has got me feelin' just a bit
slimy and stuff... I think I'm gonna grab me a nice cold shower...
... Ladies, please remember to take all your make-up off, will ya?



see ya next week...

last week's Big Blog