SUNDAY BIG BLOG

SANTA CLAUS IS DEAD
it's true; jolly old St. Nick has met his maker.
so, today, the car's parked in the garage,
and here's a very special Sunday Big Blog
for y'all this X-Mas: the sad story of
old boy's demise, the way I understand it...

... used to be, once upon a time, old Kris Kringle
was happy just to scare the living bejeezus
out of little kiddies (see above image).
yup, a little Holiday Terror always
brightened the Holiday Season...



... but, then, old boy discovered bad girls.



pretty soon, he got real bored with the little bastards.



so, he got some idiot to take his place...



... and, then, he slipped out the back way.



"Free at last!", cried Santa.
then, he ran and ran...



... straight to the whorehouse, where he got
a really nice hummer from old girl, here.



after a while, his sexual appetite became more deviant...



... and, then, even more deviant.



after he finished, he started to get drunk.
real drunk.



when he got home, he discovered internet porn...



... but, Mrs. Claus rained on his parade...



... then, she forced him to take this photo, just before he
was summarily executed for "Heinous Sexual Perversion".



turns out, though, that old Mrs. Santa
has a few fetishes of her own.
what a slut.



well, I guess there's nothing left to do,
except put the call out to Mount Sinai,
to summon Hanukkah Harry...

see you next week.

last week's Drive