MOTHER'S DAY SURPRISE

HERE'S FOR ALL YOU
MOTHERS OUT THERE...
well, ladies, it's your special day, today! boo-yaw, let's talk
about Mothers' Day, already! now, some of you opted for the
old "Planned Parenthood", so to speak. others... well, some of
you got a lovely surprise one fine morning. yup. like whoever
put that little sign up in the top image, there, sometimes life
throws us a curveball. a major curveball, at that. well, it is
what it is, so why not have a little look at this thing called
Motherhood, shall we? come on... grab yourself a fresh bottle,
a handful of Pampers, and a Binky... and, scroll on down...
























now, your first reaction to finding out you got pregnant
might be to run. that's understandable, it's a big step...












... just don't go do anything stupid... like old girl, here, who's
in the process of giving herself a self-induced miscarriage...
























... or, commit suicide. hey, if ya think things are that bad...












... I'll send my old friend Samuel L. Jackson to straighten
you out. he's one bad mother-fucker, ya know...
























... just ask this gal. he fixed her,
but good. heh. no kids for you...












... which means you'll miss the joys of Motherhood.
like, giving your kid a bottle at feeding time...
























... or providing a safe and comfortable place to sleep.












hey, it's all about serving up wholesome, delicious food...
























... even when it's Treat Time. oh, them childhood memories...












... and, so, on behalf of the civilized world, I'd like to
say thanks to Mothers everywhere... thanks, for never
letting us run out of important household supplies...
























... thanks for always finding us kids a safe place to play...












... even when your offspring is a Fucktard...
























... or, worse yet, a violent, knife-wielding Mutant...












... thanks for gettin' into the spirit of things at Halloween...
























... and for being photographer at those swell family outings...












... thanks for always giving great Birthday Parties...
























... thanks for keeping the Cole Slaw out of our clothing...












... and for all the Arts and Crafts you were able to use
to create useful, trendy and unique gifts. hey, for all
the Mothers in the world... well, Happy Mothers' Day.
























now, excuse me... I gotta head over to
WalMart to pick up a Mothers' Day gift...















see ya next week...

last week's Big Blog