APARTMENT HUNT
IN SEARCH OF NEW DIGS
ya know, a lot of people often ask me, "gee, doctor chip, how do
you like to go about finding a new place to live?" true, dat... so,
in order to cut a bunch of you off at the pass, so to speak, I've
taken the liberty of outlining it here, in the Big Blog, for you all.
actually, I've been around quite a bit... and, being pretty well-
traveled, I have this stuff down to a system. well, for the most
part, anyway. the first thing you have to consider when looking
for new digs is the same as for a retail store... location, location,
location. now, take that image up top, there... what a great name~
but, hey, it looks like it's on Mars, meaning it's less than an ideal
candidate. I mean, just think about the commute and stuff... so,
when ya know you can do better, you move on with your search...
... come on. grab a Corn Dog or two, and let's go for a little scroll...
keep in mind that you shouldn't even bother looking any-
where in a neighborhood which is a known Shit-Hole...
... after all, holes are bad and stuff. look at this trapped slut...
... also, be wary of ads which use the terms "Newly Re-modeled"...
... and "The Perfect Home". maybe for Captain Ahab...
... but, I was able to find the perfect looking home for me.
okay, we have a strong candidate... the next step
is to do a drive-by through the neighborhood... you
know, check for signs of gangs, poverty or Fucktards...
the coast is clear? good. now, we check to make sure there's
at least some type of convenience store close-by. damn, I just
hate driving 20 miles to get something on a holiday or during
the middle of the night, ya know it? this one's a real winner, too...
... next, we make sure there's no sign of Vermin.
look for Rats crossing the road, Vultures flying about,
or a large population of stray Cats... if ya don't see
anything obvious, you're probably alright and okay...
... if all that stuff pans out, see if there's any nearby attractions.
after all that, but before it's all said and done, you're
gonna need to talk to some rental agents. usually, these
people are a Batch of Fucks, but, sometimes, ya get lucky.
find yourself an acceptable floor plan which suits your needs...
... and, check the amenities. for example, this fine candidate
has Satellite but no Cable. no good. don't need a 2-yr contract...
... next, the place has to pass a few little tests. Adios, Ducky...
... and, I prefer sliding glass over French doors...
... it's always good to get into a place that'll accept pets. yup.
you need to make sure that you're
gonna have adequate privacy, too.
last, but not least, take a good look at the Kitchen.
the Kitchen is the most important room in the home...
... you definately need a good fridge to hold all your stuff...
... and, for God's sake, make sure you have a really good
set-up, prep and cooking area for your Microwave Oven.
well, that's pretty much it. don't ask
me again, okay? see ya next week...
last week's Big Blog
IN SEARCH OF NEW DIGS
ya know, a lot of people often ask me, "gee, doctor chip, how do
you like to go about finding a new place to live?" true, dat... so,
in order to cut a bunch of you off at the pass, so to speak, I've
taken the liberty of outlining it here, in the Big Blog, for you all.
actually, I've been around quite a bit... and, being pretty well-
traveled, I have this stuff down to a system. well, for the most
part, anyway. the first thing you have to consider when looking
for new digs is the same as for a retail store... location, location,
location. now, take that image up top, there... what a great name~
but, hey, it looks like it's on Mars, meaning it's less than an ideal
candidate. I mean, just think about the commute and stuff... so,
when ya know you can do better, you move on with your search...
... come on. grab a Corn Dog or two, and let's go for a little scroll...
keep in mind that you shouldn't even bother looking any-
where in a neighborhood which is a known Shit-Hole...
... after all, holes are bad and stuff. look at this trapped slut...
... also, be wary of ads which use the terms "Newly Re-modeled"...
... and "The Perfect Home". maybe for Captain Ahab...
... but, I was able to find the perfect looking home for me.
okay, we have a strong candidate... the next step
is to do a drive-by through the neighborhood... you
know, check for signs of gangs, poverty or Fucktards...
the coast is clear? good. now, we check to make sure there's
at least some type of convenience store close-by. damn, I just
hate driving 20 miles to get something on a holiday or during
the middle of the night, ya know it? this one's a real winner, too...
... next, we make sure there's no sign of Vermin.
look for Rats crossing the road, Vultures flying about,
or a large population of stray Cats... if ya don't see
anything obvious, you're probably alright and okay...
... if all that stuff pans out, see if there's any nearby attractions.
after all that, but before it's all said and done, you're
gonna need to talk to some rental agents. usually, these
people are a Batch of Fucks, but, sometimes, ya get lucky.
find yourself an acceptable floor plan which suits your needs...
... and, check the amenities. for example, this fine candidate
has Satellite but no Cable. no good. don't need a 2-yr contract...
... next, the place has to pass a few little tests. Adios, Ducky...
... and, I prefer sliding glass over French doors...
... it's always good to get into a place that'll accept pets. yup.
you need to make sure that you're
gonna have adequate privacy, too.
last, but not least, take a good look at the Kitchen.
the Kitchen is the most important room in the home...
... you definately need a good fridge to hold all your stuff...
... and, for God's sake, make sure you have a really good
set-up, prep and cooking area for your Microwave Oven.
well, that's pretty much it. don't ask
me again, okay? see ya next week...
last week's Big Blog
IN SEARCH OF NEW DIGS
ya know, a lot of people often ask me, "gee, doctor chip, how do
you like to go about finding a new place to live?" true, dat... so,
in order to cut a bunch of you off at the pass, so to speak, I've
taken the liberty of outlining it here, in the Big Blog, for you all.
actually, I've been around quite a bit... and, being pretty well-
traveled, I have this stuff down to a system. well, for the most
part, anyway. the first thing you have to consider when looking
for new digs is the same as for a retail store... location, location,
location. now, take that image up top, there... what a great name~
but, hey, it looks like it's on Mars, meaning it's less than an ideal
candidate. I mean, just think about the commute and stuff... so,
when ya know you can do better, you move on with your search...
... come on. grab a Corn Dog or two, and let's go for a little scroll...
keep in mind that you shouldn't even bother looking any-
where in a neighborhood which is a known Shit-Hole...
... after all, holes are bad and stuff. look at this trapped slut...
... also, be wary of ads which use the terms "Newly Re-modeled"...
... and "The Perfect Home". maybe for Captain Ahab...
... but, I was able to find the perfect looking home for me.
okay, we have a strong candidate... the next step
is to do a drive-by through the neighborhood... you
know, check for signs of gangs, poverty or Fucktards...
the coast is clear? good. now, we check to make sure there's
at least some type of convenience store close-by. damn, I just
hate driving 20 miles to get something on a holiday or during
the middle of the night, ya know it? this one's a real winner, too...
... next, we make sure there's no sign of Vermin.
look for Rats crossing the road, Vultures flying about,
or a large population of stray Cats... if ya don't see
anything obvious, you're probably alright and okay...
... if all that stuff pans out, see if there's any nearby attractions.
after all that, but before it's all said and done, you're
gonna need to talk to some rental agents. usually, these
people are a Batch of Fucks, but, sometimes, ya get lucky.
find yourself an acceptable floor plan which suits your needs...
... and, check the amenities. for example, this fine candidate
has Satellite but no Cable. no good. don't need a 2-yr contract...
... next, the place has to pass a few little tests. Adios, Ducky...
... and, I prefer sliding glass over French doors...
... it's always good to get into a place that'll accept pets. yup.
you need to make sure that you're
gonna have adequate privacy, too.
last, but not least, take a good look at the Kitchen.
the Kitchen is the most important room in the home...
... you definately need a good fridge to hold all your stuff...
... and, for God's sake, make sure you have a really good
set-up, prep and cooking area for your Microwave Oven.
well, that's pretty much it. don't ask
me again, okay? see ya next week...
last week's Big Blog
expunged by doctor chip @ 9:13 AM
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