EASTER PARADE

THE PASSION OF THE CHRIST...
... and the Parade of Fucking Fools. ya know, once I went to
one of these so-called "Passion Plays"... which was actually a
pretty intense presentation. yup. thing is, though, they went
to the trouble of staging it in a real field... not in the parking
lot of a fucking mattress store. I'm laughing so hard at these
jokers that I'm about to piss myself. Sleepy's, no less, you bet.
fine, then. that said, a Happy Easter to one and all out there.
now, Easter, as we all know, is a fucked up holiday, ya know it?
first, there's Ash Wednesday, which marks the beginning of
Lent. anybody want some fish? then, there's "Good Friday"...
wherein we celebrate old JC getting his ass nailed to a cross
by the Spartans or something. so very festive, eh, campers?
next up, we have Easter Sunday, commemorating old boy's
body comin' up missing... and to top it all off, it's not even on
the same day every year, since the whole shootin' match has
been based on some crazed fucking Lunar calender. a special
thanks go out to the Catholics on that one; along with a hearty
back-pat for all the child molesting priests out there. Easter's
also been bastardized commercially (as has Christmas), but
don't get me goin' on that one just yet. before we get to the
fucking Easter Bunny, let's go for a little scroll and have our-
selves a liitle look-see at old boy himself, Jesus H. Christ...
... come on. latch yourselves on to a Ham-filled Feed-Bag,
grab a big old mouthful of Easter candy... and scroll on down.












I hate Catholics, but the one thing I can't complain
about is that old boy, here, had a sense of humor.












well, if it isn't Cheeses Christ! Holy Shit!












it's true, old JC knew a bit about food, too, alright.
























speaking of Catholics... well, if ya gots enough cash,
well, then, all is well. "forgive me, Lord" "You Bet!"












all is well here, too. a very nice catch indeed...












... which was probably a result of the secret Commando
Training the Church doesn't want anybody to find out about.
turn the other cheek, my ass!












here he is doing his best Charleton Heston impression...
























... and if that rifle mis-fires, he's got these magic
"Jesus Adhesive Bandages". they'll fix anything.












yup. King of Jews. King of Beers. guess I'll grab me a Bud...












speaking of bud, check out Michael Jackson, puttin' one
over on old girl by buddying up to her, dressed up as the
Easter Bunny. oh, that crazy Jack-O. what a sneaky fuck...












... just like this guy, who just finished a load of Easter Eggs.
























careful with that Eater Egg hunt, too, ya know it? the dirty
little bastards can be pretty vicious when they want to be...












... you may be better off just doing the traditional Egg-coloring
ritual... and, then, hiding them inside the house, where it's safe...












... 'cause ya just never know when Eggzilla will show up.












the Obamas will not be having an Easter Egg Hunt this year.
first time ever at the White House, too. those poor, poor kids.
























this is what happens when you allow Easter Eggs to hatch...












... that, and they go renegade on your ass, like these crazy
fucks gone wild at a strip club. boyo. talk about a Peep Show.












yeah, the fact is, we're probably all just plain
better off if we get rid of the Easter Bunny...












... so, if ya happen to spot the bastard, run his ass down.
just do it. yup.











what Easter could possibly be complete without
having a look at this swell Easter Bunny video?
oh, yeah. psychotic, this one. Happy Easter, everybody!




see ya next week...

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