BARBIE, BARBIE, BARBIE.

EVEN MORE BARBIE...
... as if ya hadn't had enough already, right? right. well, fuck it.
Barbie remains an Icon here in the US, as she's been for like...
... 50 years? that'd make her, like, what~ 75 or something? uh,
maybe this stuff is warranted after all. I mean, are there really
any 75-year old sex symbols out there? no, uh, we didn't think
so. so, then, hey~ why not take a little reality-based look at the
Queen, up top, there... who's image just happens to be called...
... "Realistic Barbie". in other words, a big, fat, overweight and
seventy-something, candy-eating slut-whore from back in the
day. hey, let's not stop there, though~ man, I got a attitude to-
day, like I wanna kill a postal worker, ya know it? yeah. fuck it
all, we're goin' for broke, here, at unbalanced. now, let's proceed
to rip this Chocolate-Consuming-Concubine a new Big Blog ass-
hole... come on. grab a tube of Preperation H and a roll or two
of exquisitie fucking Carmin toilet papers... and scroll on down...












oh, yeah. it's Fat-Assed Barbie. yo, slick, looks like you got
the "Jiggle while you Wiggle" shit down, there, Holmes...












... unlike old girl, here. yup. say hello to the new
"Mobility Challenged Barbie". me? I just would
have called her, "Wheelchair Cripple Blowjob
Barbie". 'cause that's all she's good for, and stuff...











... 'cept, maybe runnin' Heroin, ya know it? aw, geez, I went
and told y'all this was reality based. yup. meet "Heroin-Bootin'
Mainline-Junk-Addict-Barbie". holy FUCK, what a mouthful...












... but, a picture's worth a mouthful-O-Words. yup. say,
there, campers, meet "HeadHunter Barbie". oh, yeah...












... and then, there's this "Sarah Palin Barbie". ugghh.
OMFG. she's killed a fucking Moose and all... no won-
der she resigned as governor of Alaska~ I mean, what~
half the fucking population is Moose up there, ain't it?












here's the "R Kelly Anotomically Correct Ken Doll"...












... which is only slightly more fucked~up than this brand-new,
"Barbie Cannibal-Cookout-Play-Set". Holy Mother-of-God...












... of course, there's always "Rosemary's Barbie"...












... but, the real deal lies in "realism". meet "Victim Barbie".












then, there's the swell new, "Al Quaeda Hostage Barbie"...












... and, the utterly fantastic, "Head-Pull-Ken-Doll"...












... not to mention, the Now-a-Go-Go, Tattaoo-Slut Barbie...












... or, the slutty, "Animal-Lover-Barbie". wow, what a whore...












... but, not as much as this whore~ yikes. get
your Credit Cards out for "50 Dollar Whore
Barbie", there, campers. yup, she's a real slut.












in fact, she'll turn into Menage-A-Trois Barbie for a few dollars more...












... but, she could be Orgy Slut Barbie, for free...












... but, it's definately gonna cost ya for her to become
"Bukkake Slut Barbie". you bet. hey, not that she don't
deserve it, or anything, there. ya know it?? ~~~~~~~












there's the Crack Whore Barbie & Friends Play Set...












... and, the "Teen Pregnancy Whore Box Set". yup.












say? why not just Commit Suicide, there, bitch? you bet.



see ya next week...

last week's Big Blog