ANNIVERSARY EXTRAVAGANZA IV

RESPECT THE HAT...
... I've earned it. welcome, one and all, to this year's Lollapaloozic,
Jurassic, Monolithic and Gi-Normous Anniversary Extravaganza!
woo-hoo! that's right, donald james simpson / unbalanced is four
years old this week (scary thought, that). so, before we roll on into
Year Five, let's review... let's see~ what all has happened this year?
well, for starters, Party Pig crashed a Wedding. I wound up in an
Apartment Search that ended in the Big Move, and there was this
case of Identity Theft. the company I work for forced me to do a
trade show, we all had some serious fun with Google Earth, and we
got to see the Ass Candle™ and the Ass Cannon. it wasn't all rosy,
though, as a few peeps got upset over this post. what else? oh, yeah~
Sarah Palin was exposed as a slut, we all said Hello to Brocko, the
Cops got hosed down, and there was the usual shenanigans from our
friends at Homeland Security. on top of that, I threw in my two cents
on sex offenders, there was "A Tale of Two Beers", and we had a few
more insightful Health Tips. oh~ I almost forgot, I wrote two more
wonderful children's books, too. hey, Fire Farting Week was a blast,
ya know it? then, there was the time that the old Worm Hole landed
us at the World's Worst Zit. yup. we caught the last train to Auschwitz,
and we continued our movie mayhem, which included another swell
cooking lesson and a (gasp) dirty movie. the Holidays were nearly all
good this past year... Labor Day was a Hoot, as usual; we had some
real fun on St. Patrick's Day, and Mammorial Day Week was big big
big. Easter was terrific, as always, but (slap my ass and call ma a bitch),
we didn't get the Christmas Big Blog done, although we did post a gem
of a sing-along. that said, regular readers (you know who you are) out
there already know I had to just relax and watch a little Boob Tube.
hey, though, it's true, we returned after a two-month sabbatical... and
life is mostly peachy. did I mention that this year we won ourselves a
Major Award? true, dat. come on, forget about the bra up top, there,
already... a man's got the right to do whatever he wants in the privacy
of his own Home Sweet Home... so, grab yourselves a barf bag or two,
and some Pepto Bismol, there, campers... and, let's go for a little scroll...













we discovered some very disturbing trends this year...













... but, we also had a look at the old Inner Sanctum, yup.
this is where I like to keep my Shit Sandwich Spread...













... and, it's not like I enjoy shopping for some puked-up Corn.













ya know, some people might think I'm some kind of a dip...













... but, at least, I'm not fishing for Trouser Trout like old
"Fingers" McCain, here, who's sayin' bye-bye to Bushie...













... who seems to have some kind of an
expanded societal role in The Future.













this, though, is from the present. oh, them wacky Russians...













... they oughtta know that some things are just plain wrong...













... like this swell fire from when we visited the Capital Beltway.













this giraffe is definately into playing some Head Games...













... and, speaking of animals, I think we all know what would happen
if I ran the Zoo; but, Pig Fucking surely was not an Olympic Event...













... nor is inflatable sex. fucking Porn Merchants, ya know it?













it's true, for a while, there, we were playing some catch-up...













... but, as they say, all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.













Hell, I even came out of the closet this year. yup...













... which is where this kid needs to go... either that, or else
it's back to school... my. quite the symbol of stupidity, this...













... but, these are the one and only Cymbals of Stupidity!













it's been a long year, but every Wednesday we do whatever
we need to do to find a way to get ourselves over the hump...














... even if it's not very charming, ya know it? you bet.

hey, thanks to everybody for stopping by, and thanks for all
of the comments. here's hoping the coming year will be good.




see ya next week...

last week's Big Blog
last year's Anniversary Extravaganza